Living in H-Town

[I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day] E.B White


 
I've been having these weird thoughts about life and relationships, it's getting to a point where I question myself if I have lived a proper life to this day. I've even changed my priorities and hobbies drastically. I want to try new things. I want to feel free like the wind that roams the earth. I simply want to feel alive. And what a better way to start on this new journey of life than being single, no strings attached. But I also feel that my time is running out, and I am getting older, no kids, no wife, no place to call my own, I am simply a nomad. But aren't we all? Haven't we been placed as temporary pawns users of Earth's resources? Come what may, I shall live life to the fullest. That is what my heart desires. To enjoy all kinds of music and dance to its beat, even if I have two left feet. To express myself through the art of cooking, luring my senses with the mystical scent of homemade goodies. To grow old knowing that time is on my side, that I've learned to allocate wisely and to make Dad proud. I just want to make Dad proud. And Mom too. Alas, my whole family. My core, my undying foundation.
 
I don't know what path has the Maker drawn for me, whether it ends on a refreshing river where a waterfall maintains a never ending flow, or an arid desert, where loneliness is king of the hill. I cannot foretell what I will end up like, I can only control the letters that are being typed by my able hands at this very moment, the intensity of the candlelight to my right, and the volume of that gentle song that calms my spirit.
 

 
Perhaps this is a test. To be here by myself, to reflect, to strategize, to ponder, to learn, to teach, to grow, to ask what I really want, what my next step is going to be, and what new challenge am I going to entrust myself with. I have to accept that I have lost that roadmap that was given to me by my parents when I was born. I need to find that roadmap. I need to find myself again. I thought I knew many things, but that's because I never needed to take a peek at it. Now that I desperately need it, I remember what my dad used to say: "you will grow to understand things that are not tangible to you now, but they will become a reality in a near future, and will help you pave the path that has been chosen for you. Never lose the map that your mom and I have devised for you. Never lose who you are, your calling". 
 
I really need to find myself...
 

[Procrastination is a bitch.]

I need to be reminded that if I succumb to its power, it will pummel the crap out of me. I've been spending too much time playing video games, chatting with people on AIM, and watching reruns of my favorite TV shows, I've forgotten about other things that are important in life. I need to start spending time with people, outside of this apartment. I need to stop eating unhealthy, and I also need to be aware of the fact that I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TRIM MY HAIR.

Why is that relevant? Well, today I decided to trim my hair. I guess I was annoyed at the fact that everytime I go to a barbershop, I spend $20 bucks and I leave unsatisfied. On top of that, the weather has been shifting so badly, yesterday we were in the high 80's, and my freaking a/c was not doing its job. So I started to trim it slowly but surely. But my patience can only get so much, I wanted to get it done fast so I started to rush the process. By doing so, I accidentally cut off a big chunk of hair, which obligated me to cut it shorter than expected. Now, Im balder than ever, fat and on top of that I didnt accomplish my tasks for this weekend. And guess whose fault it is? You guessed right. PROCRASTINATION.

I hope April brings forth a new me. I don't have any regrets, but I would like to accomplish more.

Hey y'all! I know I haven't spent a lot of time blogging about my experiences in Houston, lately.But don't fear, I am back.

This weekend has undoubtedly been one of the most interesting ones since I've been here. Not that I've had a boring stay while in Houston. On the contrary, I've learned so many things, and grown in so many areas, it's actually scary to keep up with this new mindset that has set upon me.

Anyways, let's not get too esoteric. Last Friday, after work, I finally met one of the biggest enemies of the human state: the revolver. I've never seen a gun before in my life, let alone held a gun. But as I always do in front of girls, I had to man up. Well, I didn't technically man up that well, but at least I wanted to. The gun felt funny in my hands, it was very heavy and very powerful. To think that something like that could take away a life in seconds scared me to death, and since I'm accident prone, I was trying to handle it with care, although my friend would disagree with me :). I first tried using the stubnose revolver. My hands were stiff, I pointed to the paper target, pull the trigger slowly and closed my eyes. Yes, I closed my eyes. It felt so good to pull that trigger, it was as if I had been shot with adrenaline powder in a magic casket. I finished the first round, which was about 5 bullets, and then I switched to the 9mm automatic gun.

That's when I got really excited. It was as close as being a secret agent. In this case, there's a pulling mechanism that you have to follow, they call it cocking the gun. Then, you pull the trigger. It felt so smooth and uncanny at the same time. I, with a 9mm in one hand, my feet steadfast on the ground, was creatively trying to destroy this paper monster painted in red.



Even though I only aced the bullseye once, It felt surreal. Although, I don't necessarily think this will be a new hobby of mine, I could potentially see it as being a stress relief activity that I could do every once in a while. It's all about taking it to the next level. It's all about trying new things, even if those things scare you to death. It's all about letting yourself into this new world, where everything and everyone is a new opportunity to grow and expand that mind of yours.

That reminds me, today we had our first OSC BBQ party @ Will and Sophie's new house. To be honest, I didn't want to go at first, because I thought that it was going to be morbidly awkward for me to hang out with these people who I barely know. Well, I should take that back, I know these guys, and I really think that they are my Houston family and all, but it's just hard to have a relationship aside from the one we have at work. On top of that, the age difference between us is noticeable, making it harder for me to relate to these people. In addition to that, I'm still trying to feel comfortable in my own skin with my english skills and my eerie personality. But I decided to go because I wanted to challenge myself to do things I would not normally do. I'm very shy, although some people would think the opposite based on first impressions. I'm trying to get to a point where I feel comfortable with who I am, but until then I will still need to be dared to do normal things which I consider bold. All in all, I had a great time with my coworkers, and I am developing feelings for each of them, feelings that will be hard to "shut down" when I leave this wonderful city...



Til next time lads...

Just wanted to post this picture that I took with Nahla.

This week has been somewhat hectic at work. First of all, I've been dealing with the paperwork and others tasks that are required to fill for my next rotation, and I finally have the official first day: July 26th. It's bittersweet, cause on one end I want to move to Laporte and meet new people and start working as a process engineer, but on the other hand, I'm really going to miss the OSC. But what the heck, its a 10 mile drive, so Ill be around the block. Anyhow, I also told one of coworkers about my future plans, to go back to school, and he was very excited about that. That's cool cause I was getting worried about it and I really wanted to share that with him. So we'll see how things unfold.

I got my PCAT Review Handbook, so Ill be studying as of next week. I can't wait! I enjoy learning and teaching so much, I really dont think I could do anything else. My mind is already set. I will go back to school.

Well, I'm pretty tired, so I'll be going to bed in a few. BTW, I know I already blogged about going to the shooting range last week, but somehow it got rescheduled to tomorrow. So, I will blog about my experience as a first time shooter in Texas tomorrow night.

Buenas noches!

Today I decided to revisit one of my favorite memories from my childhood: Final Fantasy...

I've been a fan of Final Fantasy RPG's ever since I was a little kid. I fell in love with the intense storyline and the artistic graphic display of magic and adventure. One of my top favorites, Final Fantasy X, tells the story of a young blitzball player from the future who falls in love with a sorceress woman, destined to be the savior of her nation. Here's one of the movie trailers from the game, the one that dragged me into the sophisticated world of aeons, swords and colorful magic.A world where everything is possible.

Ten years have passed since I first laid eyes on FF, but everytime I see it, hear it or even play it (for old time's sake), I immerse myself into that dreamy world filled with hope and surreal skies.

Tomorrow I'm going to the shooting range with some of my coworkers. I'm kinda nervous because I've never held a gun before, but you know me, I wouldnt hurt a fly...We'll see how it goes. I guess I'm getting my "license to kill" for realz this time. Who knows, maybe someday I'll become the next 007 agent :)